Present Horrorscopes

April 1st - April 15th , 2003
Aries OK smartypants, so what's the speed of dark?
Taurus Change come from within...
Gemini Sugar and spit, bats and grit.
Cancer You are a teenage martian from outer space.
Leo Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Virgo Who cares what the neighbors say!
Libra Challenge yourself to a staring contest.
Scorpio You better stand, theres no turning back!
Sagittarius How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
Capricorn Saints are for suckers.
Aquarius Don't even think about it!
Pisces Perhaps you're not ready for the big bad city...
Lupa Sharpen your ears (cat lingo for grow wiser).

March 1st - March 15th , 2003
Aries A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
TaurusWhen in doubt go back to sleep.
Gemini Discover other uses a bowling ball has.
Cancer Find your answers in the dark...
Leo Can there be a better week to tweak out?
Virgo Don't take it personally...
LibraTighten those trucks for downhillin' the big hills.
ScorpioIf you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
Sagittarius Being lazy will get you everything you want most.
Capricorn Be resourceful with shady characters...
Aquarius Oh my, don't even worry about it...
Pisces This week is a good week to freak and tweak...
Lupa Good kitty gone bad. Real bad.

December 18th - December 31st , 2002
Aries Challenge yourself to a hypnotizing contest...
Taurus What do you have to do to start being strange?
Gemini Decision, decisions, just blow it all off.
Cancer Sign everything with magic ink, it pays off in the end.
Leo Be aware of those who don't care!
Virgo Social situations can be such a bore...
Libra Get in touch with your dark side...
Scorpio Every little think you do is black magic.
Sagittarius Game over when night turns to day.
Capricorn One step forwards, two steps backwards.
Aquarius Celebrate the bah humbug spirt.
Pisces Social situations can be such a bore...
Lupa Its hard to find people who understand your natural superiority!

October 9th - October 23th, 2002
Aries Game over when night turns to day.
Taurus A change is for the worse.
Gemini Make a small problem bigger.
Cancer Know your black magic rights.
Leo Join forces with your bad self.
Virgo Develop your air guitar talent.
Libra There's a great future in doing doughnuts on your neighbour's lawn.
Scorpio Be careful where you step.
Sagittarius Try it. But you better hit me the first time.
Capricorn Demand it and you will receive it!
Aquarius Fight like a girl!!!
Pisces Does 'when it all began' come with an ending too?
Lupa Sleep. Sleep. Sleep...

Little known fact: Lupa represents the 13th zodiac sign for your little kitty pet...